[Blog Post] [11/07/2014]
Abandon Ship somehow came out on iTunes today.

How do I even write this in a comprehensible fashion?

Every song is a punch in the face to some popular genre or approach, in the way that it makes everyone look so utterly inadequate by comparison that it ruins you. It's like having the best meal of your life and then being disappointed by every restaurant you go to afterwards.

If Worlds is the opus of an artist that wanted to do everything what they wanted, previous sound be damned, Abandon Ship is the opus of an artist who has had a long-burning desire to tell every last producer, and the people who listen to them, to go fuck themselves. Where Dillon Francis's Money Sucks, Friends Rule (remember that? Yeah it exists) is a limp, dead, by-the-numbers album using by-the-numbers genres, Abandon Ship takes a glance at every one of those genres, smirks, and just point-blank shoots them.

Electro house? Half this album riddles it with so many bullets it borders on tragic. The Team: Resistance, the latest refinement of the Internet Friends/Rage Valley/Power Glove formula; 404, the seizure synth extraordinaire with its amazing energy and unpredictability; Give It Up, who also has a score it wants to settle with Hardstyle and bass music; and Micropenis, who is also here to blow up chiptune and minimal for a good measure. Murder, party of four, your table is ready.

Trap? Bitch please, Boss Mode is here with its superior percussion and vocal hooks. Bang. Right in the face.

The latest wave of "deep" house? Don't worry, EDM Trend Machine & D.I.M.H. are coming for you too. By actually being DEEP songs you want to DANCE to instead of falling asleep.

Vocal progressive house thinks it's safe, but it's not - Begin Again is coming for you on a motorcycle, baby, scythe in hand, Durarara style, with superior, sincere vocals and wonderful synth melodies. Goodbye.

Superstar is fucking disco, and it murders Random Access Memories by virtue of EXISTING AND BEING AWESOME. That's right, you now live in a universe where the term "Knife Party Disco" means "awesome". Bask in it. Also it punches out bigroom house in the face for a good measure.

Red Dawn will likely prevent anyone from attempting "arabian" house for a while, on basis of how brutally it destroys that one song on Money Sucks, Friends Rule.

And Kaleidoscope is...a kaleidoscope. It's an album closer that's hard to describe, bordering on surreal, but still manages to kill a lot of house out on the market today.

I can't emphasize enough how good this album is. Between this and Worlds, it's really hard to choose - Worlds is a concept album about the balance of beauty and dance while Abandon Ship is Knife Party seriously telling every last "huge" artist (especially those on Spinnin Records) to eat shit and die. You go to Worlds to lose yourself and have an existential experience, you go to Abandon Ship to RAGE and RAGE HARD, in the way that only Knife Party can make you do so.

This is so worth it. If you have a sincere love for dance music, if you can't stand most of the shit out right now, this is the album for you. If you love good music, this is the album for you.

Holy shit.
About Systems

I am a computer programmer who resides in the slightly-less-Frozen-North.

I love coding, electronic music, video games, Pendulum, anime, eating, a good night's sleep, Starbucks Frappuccinos, Vocaloid, and cats.

Huge fan of Caligula's Horse, Knife Party, Madeon, Pendulum, Porter Robinson, Spor. Listens primarily to video game music, OverClocked Remix tracks, electro house, and drum & bass.

Important Programming Stuff

Languages that I work in on a constant basis: JavaScript/jQuery, PHP, SQL

Languages that I work in for homework all the time: C/C++

Languages I'm well-acquainted with: C/C++, Java

Languages I'm somewhat-acquainted with: Perl, Python 2

Languages I'm learning for fun: Python 3

I am very well-acquainted with Linux - my favorite distro is Arch Linux, with Lubuntu being in second. I know how to install and run Linux-based server software and how to code on them remotely.

If you would like my resume, LinkedIn, and/or portfolio, please contact me at SystemsOnlineAndReady AT gmail.com.

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+ Fix inexplicable bug on this part of the sidebar
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+ Layout mockup (HTML)
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+ Get domain and setup server stuff
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+ Conversion script for text file to XML file
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+ Open the site, cry, try not to get blocked on twitter by [REDACTED]